More here. I think they are even younger in this one. It's good to know after all they suffer while kids they found eachother and have made eachother happy ever since. And it's like 52 years of marriage already :-)

posted by Paula at 4:53 PM


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My grandparents. Isn't this a great pic. I stole this one from my grandma :-P And now I'm making sure it never gets lost :-D I love it! Check out the clothes. And she looks so cute. I'm nothing like her.

posted by Paula at 4:33 PM


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It's so stupid: I was waiting for this afternoon, cos I just have one class, and then I'm free. But now I'm bored :-( I wanna go to bed and take a nap. But if I di that, then I won't fall asleep at night, and tomorrow will be hell. And with all that said, I still think sleeping is the best option :-(

posted by Paula at 4:27 PM


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I'm always so tired that is disgusting. And in a week I'm suppose to start going to the gym. Not only I wanna do the aerobics class twice a week, but I also wanna do at least 2 more hours a week with the "machines" I acutally hope that gives me back some energy, but right now... I can only think about bed.

Al's mom sest me some ideas about dresses, but it was nice to also have Ana's help, cos she seems to know the links that matter :-) So now I think I know what I want, but I still need to find the right fabric, which is going to be really hard. I'm also considereing just buying a dress. I don't know, we'll see what I find and also the prices.

That one over there is my cat: Bandido. She's kinda old, but not too bad. She's scared of electrical storms, and she hides in my bedroom. She just like it in there. My dad says she thinks my room is anti.thunder. I also found her (more than once) lying on my desk, on top of all the stuff I keep there. So I don't know, she's going crazy, believe me mydesk is not a comfortable place :-P

posted by Paula at 9:58 PM


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It was about time I show my cat. It's a "she" BTW, though she has male name (don't ask).

posted by Paula at 6:33 PM


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Don't you love Prince?

Things are better today.

This school I'm working this year... man, it's crazy. Not only the students have the problems I already talked about, but the principal is crazy. He actually expect the teachers to do a lot fo stuff that is so no our obligations. And yes, I agree and I'm up to try and do some stuff to make a better school, but man, this guy is crazy. He expects us to clean, work as doormen, and who know what else.
So today he also faced the fact some of us are uncapable to teach all we want, cos the behavior problems are soooo huge. And looks like it's alright to miss classes dealing with children/teens with problems. I think it's not a bad idea, but I also think: some of them have been playing this game for 3 years, do we really have to waste precious time with them? What about the rest of the students? What about the children tha comes to school to learn, they always are on time, they wear the uiform, they never break the rules... what about them? Sould we just waste their time? Should we just show them that everything is alright, and it doesn't matter how much you effort, in the end you'll get what you want: to do nothing inclassrooms.
The principal also said that is very important (almost the most iportant thing) to prevent students from leaving, and to also make sure next year they don't take the same class. I read the books, you know? I know what that means: keep them inside the building no matter if they learn or don't, and pass them to the next class no matter what they know. And that's crazy.
He said the one more thing, maybe the one I will remember everytime I see sth I don't like: teachers are free to teach in their classrooms. I'm gonna make sure I pay attention to all of them, so I know who is serious and and who isn't. And I'm gonna make my best effort not to waste ppl's time.

I'm kinda tired today, but I'm alright.

posted by Paula at 6:51 PM


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Maybe this is what bothers me. Or maybe this is one of the things that bothers me.

The 2 times he came here, he came for no longer than 10 to 15 days. He's gonna be there almost 2 months. Looks like if he would have wanted, he could have staye longer in the past :-(

Yeah, it also bothers me that I'm not supportive... but like I said... I have more than one stupid reason to get extremely anxious when it comes to that particual event.

I love him. I'm trying to do my best. I know not always works outt he way I plan to.

posted by Paula at 5:44 PM


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... I am a good person.
Yes, I have issues, but recently I have learnt how to keep them under better control.
I just try to give back the rest what they give me. Sometimes, I do even better than that. But I can't to keep it all the time.
I am not a bitch, but if you treat me bad, you probably won't take the best out of me. And if you are unkind, then I'll probably have problems controling my emotions.
That's not a sin.
I'm not a bitch.

posted by Paula at 4:24 PM


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You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism. Satanism 88% agnosticism 54% Buddhism 54% atheism 50% Paganism 38% Islam 25% Hinduism 25% Judaism 21% Christianity 8% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

posted by Paula at 9:14 PM


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I'm trying not to think sad stuff. Trying not to picture the grave... the inside of the grave.

I have been working on the stuff for school, but it's going way slower than I wanted. I re-progam it everyday, but I can tell the time I have left is not enough. Plus, this vacation week was fucking fast.

Anyway.

Things will Al seem to go alright. I stll can feel some fear about his trip, but I'm trully thinking it might not be as bad (but yes, it's going to be bad, just not THAT bad, see the difference?). That's also mixed with my anxiety about the OAS thing. I'm scared about it. And it all goes together someway.
We sort of plan a little my trip there this august. It was really nice to know his mom is really willing to help and even to have me there as her guest. She even said sth like if I have to be there longer than Al can have off work (waiting for my project to begin if I'm selected), she can take me to see her job, and I can stay at her place, and that she could give me a ride if I needed it. And no one can say that's not nice. So that's a plus. Sth to keep me happy.
Of course most days my baby makes me happy too.

posted by Paula at 12:50 AM


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He died last night. It wasn't painful.
He was actually calling for the woman who raced him. He saw her. He confused my dad with her. Lola sth. That is a good thing, right? To see your mom has to always be a good thing.
The whole ceremony was awful, they always are.
This was my first time.

He was Justo Guerra.
He was my grandfather.

posted by Paula at 8:31 PM


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Pototo grandad.
It's fair to admit we weren't realy that close int he last years.
When I was little it was different. He was my godfather, and I loved him. Then later I saw a few things I didn't like, and I started to act by my mom's feelings, so I de-attached from him.
He was always a very strong man. His last name Guerra (= war), was very adequate. I didn't really like his ideas, but with time he went softer, and we went closer again.
My dad was the one who took care of him during these last times. He has 2 other daughters, but they are just bitchs.
As I saw him going older and weak, I could finally got closer back with him.
He's dieing as I write. We were call by the doctors today, they said there's nothing they can do about it. His heart is really weak, and it's not pumping blood to the rest ofthe organs.
It's really sad to see him like this. It's ad cos he's suffering. It's sad to see my dad go through all of it. I don't know.... it's sad to think of al the things that weren't ment to be shared by us, but that could have, and could have made a difference.
I wish he wasn't suffereing. I wish he wouldn't have smoked that much :'-(
Today he recognised me, and he asked me about schools, and I even made him laugh about it. He asked for Gerardo, but he wasn't there cos he was working. Then later when he went there, they nurses didn't let him pass cos it was late. So fucking stupid considering this might be the last time he sees him. I got to kiss him goobye today, but... I know it's crazy, I hope I could go tomorrow and see him again, and maybe find out he actually got better.
I'm really sad.

posted by Paula at 10:23 PM


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I really liked this one. Angels and Demons, and a God that's never there and it's less godd and nice than what we are use to hear. And a gay Lucifer, what more could I ask? ;-)

posted by Paula at 3:24 PM


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I'm back from my short trip.
It was good. I saw the movie I wanted: Constantine; took the seminar, saw my relatives, and even bought some nice stuff for half the price I would have payed a few months ago :-P Why do I want summer clothes when I'm starting fall today? Cos in the middle of my winter I'll have a little summer when I go and visit my love.
Now I'm suppose to start planning my classes, and it looked like a good idea inthe past. Now that I do have ot start doing it... looks like I have lack of enrgy. I'm gonna have to figure that out tomorrow ;-)

posted by Paula at 2:42 PM


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he's not mad at me anymore

posted by Paula at 6:16 PM


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There's this real bitch at one of the schools I work. It's even funny, cos this was the second week we taught, and NO ONE likes her already. Of course she has ONE friend: the principal. It's so stupid. I think this is going to be a hard year for her, cos working with all of us is going to be hard :-P
This school is a pain inthe ass anyway. The students are sooo bad. VERY low moral values. YOu can try to help, but there's only so much you can do. It sucks! You have young tender ones, next you delicuents. I hate what the mxture does to the former. I knew it was going to be like that, but what can I say: I needed the money.

I'll be leaving for my grand's ina few hours so tomorrow I go to a seminar. Next week is vacation here, so I'll be coming back later onsun or early mon. I still need to do a lot of program, so I gotta come here early and work.

Al dislikes me right now, but it comes and goes. Same for me about him: it comes and goes.

posted by Paula at 4:42 PM


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Nice title ha?! :-P

What really bothers me, is the whole "you mean so much to me". Those stupid sentences I would never say, and that I certainly didn't ask, that's what really upsets me. God, not only you are a shitty friend, but you also lie to me for free.
I'm upset cos this friend kep talking to me, saying all those things, and how much what we talke ment, and when he had the chance to come to my town and then see me, she decided not to, and stay away with a number of friends I would never hang out :-P
So, when a friend is full of bull shit, let him crawl back, that will eventually happen.

posted by Paula at 11:43 PM


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Looks like Al had this presentation today to fresh men or sth like that. "Fresh men" sounds like "naive", and somehow they are, cos the presentation is about to trick them to go there :-P I even told Al: he had complaint soooo much about his school, about them stealing his money.... and now he's giving the presentation to make them ssay "wow let's join this scholl!" It's just funny and I'm not being ironig (putting that little note just in case Al reads it, but I actually do think it's funny and harmless :-)).
On the other hand his robot is going sooo good! Today his prof called the dean of engineering school (or sth like that) to see it, and he liked it. That is soooo cool, cos I know how long he has dreamaed about it, and I know how much work he has done on it. Way more than his partners, maybe cos they just can't do as much, maybe cos the robot is not their little baby. Al has seriously playing with tht bot on his mind for a log time, even before this class started.
And I actually just came to paste the lyrics of a song I like. Al gave me the mp3 a few weeks ago, when it was really really really new. And then I donwloaded the video from the site of another of his friends. Here are the lyrics for "why do you love me?" by Garbage.
I'm no Barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
So I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rides out of mud
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me Why do you love me
Why do you love me it's driving me crazy
I get back up and I do it again I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again I get back up ........... and I do it again
You're not some baby boy
Why you acting so surprised
You're sick of all the rules
Well I'm sick of all the lies
Now I've held back a wealth of shit I think I'm gonna choke
I'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat
Does it really come as a surprise when I tell you I don't feel good?
That nothing ever came from nothing man
Oh man ain't that the truth
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me it's driving me crazy Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me it's driving me crazy
I get back up and I do it again I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again I get back up ........ and I do it again
I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof but I think that I'm right
And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time

posted by Paula at 10:14 PM


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Last night wasn't the best. I didn't go to bed mad or anything, but I was so tired and a little frustrated. I try not to get like that about that one subject I don't like, but it's so hard. But I took my shower, and slep well.
This morning (more noon), I woke up to find out there was nothing but crappy food at the house. (ppl will probably think I weight 100 kg after this posts, but I weight half of that) I was crappy again.
But then I came to see my mail, and had a cute note from Al. That didn't stop me from getting upset at him for not message me. We argue for 40 min, then cleared things up, he called, and things were good again. He ven said we were getting good at that: fixing ptoblems. That's good. There's not deep dramatic scenes here. I like that.
He left to study, and I did some work. Not as much as I should have, but enought to cover things for this week. Did I mention I have next week off?
So, right now I feel quite good, nothing special, but not bad at all. I hope I can talk to Al later, and I hope tomorrow is a bright day :-)

posted by Paula at 8:02 PM


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I'm sooo tired. And I almost fell asleep in one of my last classes today. The morning went fine, but the afternoon killed me.

I'm here to talk about certain essay.

Al sent me the esay he has to present to some ppl to get into the Spain thing. It's just a paper, not that he can get denied the acceptance.
I didn't know if it was smart to read it, cos it's been a very delicate thing to me: he going there instead of comming here. But curiosity was stronger, and amazement was too. He was talking about how he met me and wanted to learn spanish cos of me and to get closer to my family. It was very touchy, I'm still very moved.
Now I can ony hope he keeps saying that same thing to the ppl he meets there.

posted by Paula at 8:15 PM


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I said this here before, but saying it again maybe will convince you I know what I'm talking about, and I'm not just furious: my fatehr is an asshole!
Every day he shows us the only thing he likes is the fucking thing he bought. Sth I'm afraid I'll end up paying in a non direct way.
And I'm the one he thinks the least. He just doesn't know I'm around at all, I could die today, and I bet he won't notice till a few days later, maybe just when I'm suppose to pay for the bills, maybe then he will notice I'm gone.

I'm so fucking mad right now at him, I just have no words to express it.

posted by Paula at 5:26 PM


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I just thought it was about time to come and write sth here.

The week has gone alright so far, but I'm not happy is thurs, it should be sat.
I was able to handle the classes, and I think this year ain't gonna be harder than last one. The only think I didn't like to far, was a change in my schedule: they want me to go earlier today, teach one class, then have a free class (we call those bridge), and then teach the rest of the classes. So this change doesn't really benefits me, cos not only I have to go there earlier, but I also have this dead hour, I HATE IT! I have to try and make them go back to what it originally was ment to be.

My baby has been cute after the arguement we had. He called, we talked... we al know how sad I was about the whole thing, but what good does it make to keep it on my mind now? I rather let go and enjoy the fact he has been really kind and said he undertood me,a nd kept calm when I was just about to go really crazy the other night.

Oh And Al's mom has been mailing me everyday now :-) That makes me happy for the obvious reasons.

Putting it all together. I've been tired but happy :-)

posted by Paula at 4:30 PM


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Finally things went back to normal last night. It was Al's bd, and I found so shitty to feel the way I was feeling. I wanted to make sth special for it, and I knew it wasn't possible. But on top of that the fucking stripper thing wasn't really nice, not nice at all.
We talked about it, and it made no sense to hold it against him. i guess D was right: it was his friends who got him really drunk and took him there. And yeah, he's not a saint, and he wanted to take full responsability of what happened, which was fine, I was ready to take it on him, but his friends act like ass holes, no matter how much this say would affect Al. I wonder if it's on ly me who things the whole thing was disrespectfull to our relationship, and I'm sure no friend of mine would do sth like that. Last night he told me not to compete with them, but they are compitting with him: they even got a vagina to do that better, didn't they?
Anyway...
We did talked about it till there was nothing else to talk. So even if I still think about it now, it's over.

Now today I started working again.
This new place I work with seem to have serious behavior problems. I see other young teachers working there, so I think I can do it too. But man, they tell you stories... and it sucks. I knew what I was doing when I chose to work there though, I had no other choise: if I wanted to make more money, that was the only place I coud go to add. So I did, and I will keep doing my job best I can. I just have to make sure they understand from the beginning that it's me who set the rules. I have been good at it before, I had even been better than I thought :-P so it should be alright, shouldn't it?
But I'm tired. And tomorrow I have to get up earlier than today. Some day I feel myshedule could be better, some other days I like it the way it is. Today I don't want them to change my schedule. Even if tomorrow I have to get up early, teach 2 classes, have 2 free classes, teacher another 2, then go to Molino Highschool, teacn 2 classes, 2 more free, and then 2 classes. It's crazy, those fucking free classes are a mess. BUT! I have just one class on thursday afternoon, and that's good.

And I should also say that a guy who I haven't spoken like in 5 years mailed me yesterday. It was nicer than I ever though that situation would be. I'm one of those who like to "hold it against", but it was nice after all. He even said a few things like he kept things from himself that he "stole" from me, like lovecraft and I don't know what else. Told him to stop telling me that, cos I was gonna ant those things back :-P
I guess we all keep things from the ppl we know.The person has to be a real asshole to let you with nothing, making you want not to ever had met him/her. I have know those. One. But one is enough.

Well, I'm tired now, and I have to prepare some stuff for tomorrow, cos I was too lazy to do a lot of stuff during vacation. It's good to know we have 2 weeks for teaching, and then 1 week off :-P Then it will be easier to plan things.
I hope I can stay awake to see Al, but I'm sleepy now, and it's just 19:30 here, and 16.30 there.

posted by Paula at 6:16 PM


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Let's see gf´s of the world (it could work for bf's too): which one of you likes to know your bf went to a strip club and get a lap dance?

And I'm suppose to remain calm, cos his heart is mine. BS! I wanna know what did she look like, how horny he was, how long did it take.
Man, I'm 6000 miles away, am i really suppose to feel good about it?
I have this mental pic of him, on his bd, drunk till the limit with a fucking whore onh is lap! it's killing me. Earlier today I was so fucking mad I was shivering.

There should be a mood indicator for this. Or one that said: feeling like shit.

posted by Paula at 7:57 PM


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My brand new president wavig to his ppl. It's hard to let go, you know? I wanna keep posting about it :-D

posted by Paula at 5:15 PM


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I have tryed not to write here again, cos I didn't want the pics i posted before to go down and disappear.

Good things happened, some annoying too. Now I don't know what to talk about.

I have been quite happy to sort of make sure I'll be seeing Alex this year. I have been telling myself that was gonna happen no matter what, but it's better when the other persons says the same. He had said it before, but now we sort of have a date, and that makes a difference.
The other day he said his mom talked to him again about the party she's gonna give him for graduation, and he told her he wanted to make sure I coud make it. So he asked me, and I told him what I have been thinking all along: august. Cos if some of my precious projects are gonna work this year, they'll be working by august. So by then I'll know, and I'll either take a simple trip or go there for sth else.
I mailed his mom, and she mailed me back. To my surprise and happiness, she shares a little politics view with me, and that made me really REALLY happy. It was good, cos I wanted to help, and Al said to help him withthe list, and I thought that wasn't really work, but it finally did, cos looks like I do have a nice memory. So I feel like a part of it, but more important: I KNOW I'LL BE THERE BY AUGUST.

Now next monday (and it's saturday), I start working again. I have more classes than last year, 3 more. They have given me my schedule: they could be better, but they certainly could be worse. I don't have to get up every single day at 7, there are 2 days that I have classes a little later in the morning. I have the thursdays' afternonns free, and I worked from 7:45 till 18:30 on Sautrdays (yeah, I'm being punished for being new), with a little break for lunch, but I will have to use it fot moving from one school to another. Yeah, I guess I'll lose weight this year.

I think I'm "in love" with Hugo Chávez. He's a great man. He was taken out of the power by a minority with money-power. The same one controls the media there, or used to. And guess what happened: the ppl of Venezuela gave the power back to him. Then later they force him to go on elections, they cut the oil production, they really tryed to scare him. And again, he won! First time he won with 3 millions votes, second time.... 6 millions. Does that says sth to you? I thought that kind of things happened just in the past, and were part of our history books, stories about past heores. I'm really happy to know we still have heroes alive, I hope we keep hi and Fidel for a long long time. Our Latin America needs them. he said Bush wants him dead. He said: "if sth happens to me, you can be sure there's only one resposable: Bush". I hope nothing happens.

And now I'm here, arguing with Al while I write, cos looks like expecting him to come last night to say "goodbye" was unthinkable. And cos I asked today, I'm "acting bitchy".

But at least I still have one more pic to post, so we don't forget really important things.

posted by Paula at 4:45 PM


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Los invitados. Lástima Fidel no pudo venir. Igual se entiende. Muchos nos quedamos un poco tristes, pero otra vez será :-)

posted by Paula at 2:39 AM


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La esperanza de América está en los brazos de tipos así. Gracias Chávez!

posted by Paula at 2:37 AM


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El Palacio Legislativo también se vistió de fiesta. Hubo Filarmónica conel maestro García Vigil, y tango :-)

posted by Paula at 2:35 AM


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El prsidente y la primera dama. Una primera dama diferente también, por cierto quemucho más "real".

posted by Paula at 2:28 AM


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Con la banda presidencial. Saludano a un mundo de gente que estaba afuera "haciendo el aguante"

posted by Paula at 2:22 AM


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Sin palabras. El líder tupamaro, hoy presidente de la cámara de senadores, y Tabaré.

posted by Paula at 2:18 AM


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Muy emocionante escuchar al presidente de todos los uruguayos y al vicepresidente. Creo que por primera vez escuchamos a un político y le creemos.

posted by Paula at 2:00 AM


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La gente en la calle. Algunos esperaban "incidentes", pero no los tuvieron. Hace mucho tiempo que la gente no sale a festejar, asi que nadie lo iba a rruinar :-)

posted by Paula at 1:38 AM


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.. el pueblo pudo más.

Estoy muy feliz, y si bien ayer imaginé las palabras (casi perfectas) que hoy iba a usar acá, hoy ya no están, y nada de lo que escriba le va a hacer justicia de cualquier modo. Porque de cualquier forma, a la felicidad de la gente no hay palabras que la describan. No a la felicidad que yo vi ayer 1° de marzo desde la hora 0, cuando los fuegos artificiales llenaron de color el cielo igual que cuando empezamos el año.
Primero vimos a Tabaré y a Nin compromoterse en su trabajo, y un abrazo emocionado con Mujica, y los ojos llenos de lágrimas de Huidobro.
Después me fui a la calle, y pude comprobar que eran muchos los ojos llenos de lágrimas. La gente estaba tan emocionada... increíble.
Nunca antes había visto un festejo así en un cambio de presidente. y yo pensé que se debía a mi edad, pero vine a descubrir que la genta nunca había estado tan contenta antes, y que esto era nuevo para todos.
Tabaré pidió que no hubiese barricadas en el trayecto que hizo desde el Palacio Legislativo hasta el edificio Independencia (antigual casa de govierno), y la gente se le acercó, y le mostró todo su apoyo.
Entre 300.000 y 400.000 personas había en las calles de Montevideo, todos con banderas, todos queriendo formar parte. Y creo que también queriendo mostrar a las otras fuerzas políticas lo poco que son y que han sido. Y el que no lo crea, que le pregunte al presidente saliente, Batlle, que se tuvo que bancar cánticos de todo tipo (un minuto de licencio para Batlle que está muerto). Los escuchó mientras daba su discurso antes de colocarle la banda presidencial a Tabaré, y los escuchó fuerte y claro.
Y la fiesta siguió: hubo desfile militar, Tabaré fue al Palacio otra vez, y dio su duscurso. Esos discursos serán otros posts que colocaré más adelante junto con alguna fotito.

Y claro que hay que repasar la parte de invitados ilustres. Vinieron tantos queno había donde meterlos literalmente. Se invitó a muchas delegaciones, pero otras pidieron venir, supongo que tal vez porque imaginaron cómo iba a ser la cosa. Es que mucha de esa gente se fue con eso de que habían precensiado algo espcial y diferente.
Yo quiero destacar a el presidente de Argentina Néstor Kirchner (espero pero sin esperanzas que est´s bien escrito); el presidente de Brasil, Luis Innacio Lula, los príncipes de España e Inglaterra, y muy especialmente al carismático Hugo Chávez, presidente de Venezuela (y viva la revolvución Bolivariana!). Este tipo realmente te enamora y no te das cuenta :-)

Sumando... por fin la gente siente que el país se mueve. Todos estamos contentos. Habrá que esperar, habrá que ayudar, habrá que tener en cuenta que los primeros han de ser los más necesitados.

Por ahora... quién nos quita la sonrisa del rostro?!

posted by Paula at 12:42 AM


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